“My son Kelten was in kindergarten when bruises began to appear from nowhere on his arms and legs. Testing showed low platelets and he was first diagnosed with acute ITP. Later, as new symptoms appeared, doctors thought he might have non-Hodgkin lymphoma, then lupus, then PAH. But no diagnosis ever quite fit. No treatment ever quite worked. Kelten just got sicker and sicker, through childhood, his teenage years, and into adulthood.
Struggling against the unknown is terrifying, but Kelten never complained. He never wanted anyone to feel sorry for him. A lot of his friends didn’t even know he was sick. Within the family, though, we always talked openly. Kelten’s sister Kayla was his closest confidant and biggest fan. Between the three of us, no topic was off limits. We talked about death often. I think we all knew that Kelten might not have a long life. Still, he got up every morning insistent on fitting as much as he could into whatever time he had.
He loved his girlfriend Maya like they had all the time in the world. He loved to travel, though his doctors told him it wasn't a good idea. He loved getting tattoos, which the doctors hated even more than the travelling. But, for Kelten, tattoos were a way of reclaiming a body that kept failing him — and a mark of permanence in a world filled with uncertainty.
Kelten lived 24 very big years. We never got clear answers on his underlying illness, but I think he knew when the end was coming. Nine months before he passed, Kelten adopted this high-energy Australian Shepherd puppy, Joey Boy. It was the most ridiculous thing to do. But I realize now that Kelten knew I would need him. It’s Joey who gets me up on mornings when it feels impossible to leave bed. It’s Joey who walks with me to the cemetery. And it’s Joey who will sit with me for as long as I need.
Kelten was my son and also my best friend. I miss him more than I can bear. He taught me so much about how to live, and those are lessons I lean on every day. There’s a John Lennon quote on Kelten's tombstone that he shared right before he passed: ‘Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.’ ”
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