“In 2020, I was working as an emergency room nurse and, while COVID was at its height, my own health was deteriorating fast. Significant weight loss, hot flashes, a rash on my chest, enlarged lymph nodes. It was clear that something was very wrong, but I couldn’t get any doctor to take me seriously. Finally, one of my best friends, Colleen, who’s a nurse practitioner, ordered blood work, which came back with a high white blood cell count. That led to a CAT scan, then a biopsy.
In May 2021, I was diagnosed with chronic lymphocytic leukemia (CLL), which is usually seen in much older patients and in men. As a nurse, I knew it was going to be a hard journey. I also struggled with a feeling of ‘why me?’ as most of the literature I found didn’t include any information about individuals of my demographic. I also couldn’t find many supports to connect with that seemed to truly understand what I was going through.
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During this time, I also started thinking about freezing my eggs. I’d always dreamed of having four or five kids, but I was 34, single, and looking down the barrel of cancer treatments that could affect my fertility. That’s when the other shoe dropped. I was also diagnosed with — completely unrelated — premature ovarian failure. I had no eggs to freeze and found out I was going through menopause at a very early age.This was devastating, especially as I watched all my friends starting their lives with children.
But life takes strange turns sometimes. The day before my follow-up CLL appointments at Princess Margaret, I stayed at a hotel in downtown Toronto. I found myself swiping through dating apps, just to keep my mind off the cancer, and I matched with someone whose profile I never would have even seen if not for CLL. Our third date was at the hospital. Andrew was instantly supportive and understanding, and it’s been just green flags ever since.
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Now, five years on, my CLL is well managed, and we’re building an incredible life together. We’re restoring a century home that hadn’t been touched in 50 years. It’s a lot of work, but with Andrew it’s a joy. We love spending time outdoors, hiking, and biking. We’ve also started travelling again, with our next trip being to England. I’m also giving back by volunteering at the Ontario SPCA and Humane Society and with the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society of Canada, doing anything I can to help make the world a better place.
It took me a long time to come to terms with not being able to have kids and living with a chronic cancer for life, but I’ve worked through it with Andrew. Now we’re talking about moving out to the country one day, having more dogs, maybe a farm and an animal rescue.
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I share my story so that others with CLL or premature ovarian failure who don’t fit the stereotypical demographic don’t feel so alone and can see that it’s still possible to have a very fulfilling life.
I can remember when my future seemed so bleak. It’s amazing just to be looking forward to things again.”
Janice will be attending Health eMatters,Canada's leading cancer advocacy and survivorship conference, in Toronto fromThursday, October 15 to Saturday, October 17.
To learn more about Health eMatters, click here.
