“I was 18 when I walked into my doctor’s office and he was like, ‘Do you know who Selena Gomez is?’
I looked at him, confused. Like, the singer? Yeah, I know her. Where’s this going?
I was a highly competitive athlete, playing volleyball at the top levels both in and out of school. I’d been seeing a series of sports medicine doctors because of persistent pain in my shoulder and relentless fatigue. I figured I had the kind of injury that comes from pushing your body as hard as I was. A rotator cuff issue, one doctor suggested. As for the fatigue, I had no shortage of explanations for why I was tired.
But then, on a trip to Florida, I got what I thought was a sunburn. Except that it just refused to heal. Two weeks after returning to Canada, I was still beet red. My sports medicine doc said it was time to run some blood tests. When the results came back, suddenly we were talking about pop stars.
Selena Gomez has lupus. And so, it turns out, do I.
It felt like my life had flipped upside down. My mom, when I told her, was like, no, you can’t have lupus. People die from lupus. I didn’t yet understand how outdated that idea was, but what I took from that conversation — and an eerily similar one I had with a close friend — was that I needed to keep this a secret. If I told people the truth, they’d think I was dying.
Today, nearly a decade later, I’ve come to realize that secrecy only breeds fear and isolation. I’ve gone through many flares and different medications, but I now live symptom-free, teach grade 6 full-time, and coach volleyball. I’ve got an incredible circle of support and I speak openly about my disease. I try to build a better world through education and advocacy. Along the way, my faith has become a central part of my journey. Through Christ, I’ve found strength and purpose that have carried me through the hardest moments and guide how I live, teach, and show up for others.
I still live day by day because I can’t know what tomorrow holds, in terms of my illness or anything else. But I’m so proud of all the things I’ve accomplished that once seemed impossible — things I’ve accomplished despite lupus, and because of it.”
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